"I Don't Like To Complain"

Photo credit: nzks

I read a lot about positivity, and training your mind to see the brighter aspect of any situation. But when I get down, I do not have a lot of experience with realistic evaluation of experiences. I tend to see any experience as either good or bad, as my fault if it is negative, and in spite of me if it is positive. I absorbed a futilistic mind set from childhood, without my family's or my realization it was happening. So when I do finally give up and embrace the depressing side of a problem, I go overboard. I throw out any good things as I focus on the bad--no one called me today, I lost income, I made a mistake, something bad is happening to someone I love and I can't help it, there are good things I want to do, but x, y, or z stands in the way. It's all hopeless, and I should just eat worms and die.

When I keep my pain locked away in myself, a stray negative thought can blossom into a full depression hurricane, where I denigrate my accomplishments, ignore happy things around me, and sacrifice my energy and health in bouts of crying, anger, and blaming those around me for perceived slights. Why don't I reach out to someone else in these bad times? "I don't like to complain." "I don't want to be negative." "If other people knew I had this problem, I would be lessened in their eyes."

Recently I tried to encourage a friend who was down. In a feat of tremendous hyprocrisy, I urged him to confide his problems in others, to "get the pain out." And he used my line. "I don't like to complain." As often happens, being of the receiving end of my words opened my eyes to a new viewpoint.

Why is it helpful to share our burdens with each other? If I am sad, and I tell you I am sad and why, won't I just make you sad, too? Sometimes, yes. I have heard conversations where two people get together and focus on all the bad in themselves and in the world. The conversation often becomes cruel, cyncial, and cutting. I get depressed hearing it second-hand, and the people involved do not seem uplifted at all while they are together. But I don't usually have such conversations. When I share a problem with a friend, my friends react differently. I have been blessed with proactive friends who help me turn problems around.

How do these wonderful people help me? They are first caring, then try to help me see the problem realistically, and then we try to solve it together.

• Caring. Letting someone know your dark places or failures is scary stuff. In a society built on projecting a positive, successful, happy persona, admitting that you ate a box of cookies and spent the day hiding from people because conversation was too taxing is an exercise in vulnerability--and is not something you find recommended in a Tony Robbins seminar. But everyone has down times. Grief and sadness are natural stages in life. They can come on from events big or small, from events such as death or illness bringing loss into our lives, or when our current situation is not where we want to be, or we hit one too many red lights on the way to work on a rainy day. The brooding nature of sadness can, when expressed and used correctly, give us time to look at problems, see what we want or need to change, and move toward a happier future. But most of us need someone to accept us at our saddest in order to properly process our emotions and reach that proactive stage. Being a friend who can say "I am so sorry you are dealing with this problem! Tell me about it," gives the troubled person room to feel their emotions and begin the job of working through to a better state.

• See the Problem Realistically. For me, this is the stage I need a trusted friend to accomplish. When I face a problem, it is all I can see. Only the bad sides of the equation. I don't see opportunities, I don't see my skills I bring to solving it, I don't see any of my past successes or the support networks I have all around me. I see a problem--big and scary and proof, in my eyes, of my utter incompetence and lack of worth. My husband and my friends are lifesavers in these moments. I trust them to honestly assess a problem with me, and help me put it in perspective in the larger mosaic of my life. They are the ones to remind me of past successes, of the power of faith, of the good things that can come from the current challenge, and that even if I do fail to solve this problem, I am still loved and worthwhile. This help is the hardest to be without, and the step I close off the most severely when I refuse to share my burden with someone I can trust.

• Solving the Problem. This step, which seems so crucial when I am bewailing my predicament, is actually the least important. Most problems get solved. Mostly by doing things I already know how to do. For the rare times I need help--either in the form of practical help or simply expert advice, my support group of friends, family, and experts I trust will usually get me on track quickly. I am still surprised at how simple solutions can be, especially after I've spent weeks obsessing over a situation. Often one conversation, or mentioning one need that is overwhelming to me, will result in just the right advice, or someone having a spare whatsit that they want to be rid of that is exactly what I need. Problem solving, while crucial to life, is much less difficult than letting someone care and help you put your problem into perspective.

So why do we constantly hoard our problems when sharing them helps us and allows our friends to see into our lives in ways that strengthen our relationships? Why must pride and a desire to appear invincible rather than vulnerable make us suffer alone? Think about how good it feels to help someone else, and especially how good it feels to be trusted with someone's tender, scary places. Why not give that gift to the friend you value the most? Chances are good he or she will help you solve your problem, you'll feel better, and your friend will feel valued and useful. Share a problem today!

Yin Deficiency: What is It and Five Ways to Recover

Photo by Teresa Y Green

https://www.planetherbs.com/michaels-blog/cayenne-another-rude-crude-unsung-hero.html

The link above is from Michael Tierra's amazing website, and gives a quick overview of cayenne, and mentions that it may be too hot for someone with Yin deficiency. I completely agree with Mr. Tierra's article (and since he's one of the big names in herbal medicine, I'd be hesitant to disagree with him). But since his article was not focused on Yin deficiency, I found his explanation a little sparse. Most people in Western society have some yin deficiency, and protecting your Yin is crucial to staying healthy, especially as you age. Here's a little info:

Yin deficiency refers to our reserves. Yin deals with the cooling, calming, moistening functions in the body--having the right lubrication (lymph, mucous, saliva, etc.), enough substructure (bone, blood, etc.), and enough rebuilding time and materials (sleep, and the substances above). It also refers to the “stuff” of reproductive function--hormones, menstrual blood, semen, mucous, etc. A yin deficiency may not affect all of these--Stomach yin deficiency means there usually is not adequate stomach mucosa, causing burning, acid reflux, or dry mouth; while liver yin deficiency will affect our ability to make blood properly, stay calm, and get enough sleep. Kidney yin deficiency affects reproductive function, overall calmness, ability to focus, and sleep as well.

Yang is the opposite of yin, and provides the activity that Yin fuels. Yang affects our ability to warm, do activity, remove excess moisture (and not generate it in the first place), wake up, and push through when you’re exhausted and have to keep going. It describes the energy that gets people up in them morning, provides sex drive, and active thinking. When it is deficient, people can have problems with anything from edema to sleepiness to just giving up.

Yin and yang work together. Without enough Yin, Yang is a mechanic with no tools, without enough Yang, the tools sit idle and rust. We need both. To use a different analogy, if you think of life as a fire, yin is the wood that provides fuel, while yang is the spark. Most people, when they get tired, try to add extra spark with caffeine, exercise, supplements, etc., when the problem most often is the substructure fuel that is depleted. Rebuilding the quiet side of your physiology allows you to thrive as you do the active parts of life.

Chronic stress destroys both yin and yang, but because yin is the harder to rebuild, it is the part that is the most important to protect. Overuse of cayenne, or other warming or stimulant substances like caffeine, will aggravate a yin deficiency, and may mask it temporarily because it provides extra yang. Eventually, though, the bottom falls out as a person's reserves are completely depleted. Once someone collapses from overworking her body, she may never fully recover.

So protect your health and your ability to thrive. Protect your yin:

1. Get enough rest. Rest early and often, with naps if possible. Take regular breaks in your workday, if not to sleep, then at least to disengage from the rat race. Take a walk, look at the outside world or an art museum--but let your mind rest. Meditation is one of the best ways to rebuild yin, and can be as simple as letting your mind wander while you watch people walk their dogs in a park.
2. Eat well. Eat nutrient-dense food. Eggs from healthy chickens (meaning free-range chickens who have not been fed antibiotics) are a great source of yin, as are any juicy fruits and vegetables. Most fish is considered beneficial for yin as well. Eating warming foods that are considered more yang tonic (such as cayenne, cinnamon, lamb, horseradish and other mildly spicy foods) is not wrong--Chinese medicine is about balance, and getting a wide variety of foods is important. But if you have a yin deficiency, giving extra attention to yin tonic foods is a great idea.
3. Destress. In our modern times, nothing is as hard on Yin as stress. Stress triggers our fight-or-flight system, which basically means we become on guard most of the time. Feeling rested and refreshed when you are constantly worried or feel cornered in a bad job, relationship, or just with your own thoughts is impossible. See a therapist, make life changes a necessary, or delegate your least favorite chores. The peace you gain will add years to your life.
4. Do gentle exercise. Exercise primarily builds yang, through activity, but gentle exercise, such as tai chi or moderate walking, allows your body to process stress hormones, circulate your lymph, move toxins around, and manage blood sugar and digestion. These benefits greatly diminish stress in your system, and so benefit Yin.
5. Diminish distractions. Yin is the energy of quiet and peace. If you have not sat outside and looked at the clouds for a while, I suggest trying it. Turning off your cell phone, stepping away from the computer, and turning down ambient noise any way you can will give your nervous system a break. Like meditation, simply existing in a quiet space without a lot of stimulation allows your body to turn inward and rest.

Using these tips will help you keep your Yin strong, giving you ample reserves for any situation. Try a few of them today!

When It Absolutely, Positively, Has to Be: Five Tips to Do a BIG THING

Photo Credit: Escultura

Usually, my blog is about taking time out, getting rest, and honoring your needs. I usually advocate taking more time off than you think is necessary, and avoiding the mindset that you "have" to do much of anything if you are tired or need renewal time. 

But sometimes, you have to show up, no matter how you feel. I call this a Big Thing. If someone is sick, or you're out of sick days, or there's something that is too good for your overall goals, well-being, or future for you to sidestep it, you have to be there. How can you have the show go on when you want to drop the curtain and beg off?

1. Do as many health-enhancing habits as possible while you are overextended. If you must work long hours, invest the extra time or money into eating healthy food. Be sure to get at least a tiny amount of exercise, even if it means five minutes of stretching while you listen on a conference call. Sleep as much as you possibly can while still getting your Big Thing done. Naps are great tucked in after lunch (pun intended).
2. Set limits around your Big Thing. Set some kind of limit on how far you will push yourself. If there is a new baby, or a sick family member, organize a sitter for a few hours each week. If you have a big project at work, put in a few hours on a regular schedule for a break--a nap, a movie, an afternoon off--stagger the time among co-workers if necessary. No one works well with no breaks at all. And whenever possible set a deadline. "If I have not solved this problem within three weeks, I will set it aside for a week before I deal with it again."
3. Ask for help, and take help that is offered. For some reason, asking for help is anathema to some people. But most people want to help their friends, family, and co-workers, knowing they will need help one day, too. So if your mother offers to make some meals so you have time to take your daughter to rehearsals for the school play, thank her profusely--and accept! If you have a co-worker willing and able to accept your phone call list while you handle your budget shortfall, thank her, and take her out to lunch when the crisis is over. Most people suffer more from stress than necessary simply by not taking help that is offered.
4. Give yourself permission to let down in something. If you are at your parents' house every night while Dad recovers from hip surgery, don't worry about your normal housework. Or the dishes. If you live alone, and can't get someone to help you, use paper plates or order the healthiest takeout you can find to save time on cleaning up later. Maybe the weekly pizza get-together at work can be shelved until you have the newest promotion done. Or you can cut your exercise time in half for a few days a week until you learn French for your trip to Europe. While you don't want to abandon all standards or healthy activities, don't beat yourself up if you let a few things slide here and there in pursuit of the greater good. 
5. Reward yourself when The Big Thing is over. My weak point is rewarding myself for an accomplishment, so I want to be sure to preach about it. If you and those around you have worked hard on anything, whether the ending worked out as you hoped or not, reward yourself for your effort. Take the office to dinner when big sale is over--whether you broke any records or not. When the kitchen is finally renovated, invite friends over for a celebration cooking extravaganza. When you spend a month helping your son prepare for his finals, go to the beach for the day when it's done--with an extra treat if he aces it. If your Big Thing is something that is not rewardable, like taking care of a sick relative who dies, you still need to rejuvenate. Take time off work to sleep, think about your loved one, or get a massage and talk to friends. You have worked hard for something, and you need to refill your reserve tank so you can enjoy the rest of your life.

Big Things can come in all shapes and sizes. When you decide something is worth more of your energy than you have to give, make sure it's worth the hours you are taking from your life. Then use these tips to allow you to do your Big Thing and come out the other side still ready for action.

Part Five of the Five Taxations: Maybe 'Stand Up, Stand Up' Is Not Always Best

Image Courtesy of FreeImages.com

Today is Part Five of our Five Taxation series. First, a quick review:

Part 1: Goldilocks and the Five Taxations: An Introduction
Chinese medicine advocates balance in everything. Even activities that seem harmless, or are considered positive by most people, should only be done in balance. Too much of any activity will cause an imbalance somewhere else.

Part 2: I Can See Clearly Now: To Observe Over a Long Time Harms the Blood
Our eyes are sensitive to overwork. Because of the connections they have with the Liver, Gallbladder, and Wood Element in Chinese medicine, overusing your eyes can hurt your health over time.

Part 3: Get Up and Boogie: Excessive Lying Down, Which Damages Flesh
Lying down too much means you cannot be getting enough exercise. Inadequate exercise leads to a host of problems, including blood sugar issues, poor circulation, obesity, and has been linked to dementia and poor stress management.

Part 4: Sitting Needs Moderation 
"Oversitting" is at least as bad as "excessive lying down," with the same issues plus more problems with posture.

And today's entry, "excessive standing, which injures bones." 

These days, standing is in vogue. There are standing desks, standing meetings, and advice to never, ever, ever sit.  

As with most things advised in our modern world, Chinese medicine would disagree with such an all-or-nothing approach. Standing for long periods is hard on the blood vessels in the legs, increasing the risk of carotid atherosclerosis ninefold, as well as contributing to varicose veins. For many people, it can aggravate back, foot, or knee pain, especially if the surface they need to stand on is too unyielding. It can also cause fatigue if there is no option to sit or rest.

Chinese medicine sees standing too long as harmful to the bones. The bones are governed by the Water element, which also includes the Kidney and Bladder systems. More than the organs that filter and excrete urine, in the Chinese medical system they also have a major role in maintaining you jing, or essence--which deals with your reproductive health as well as your "reserve energy"--the well you go to when you're exhausted but need to keep going. Anything that taxes this system will make it harder for you to overcome stress, especially long-term, unrelenting stress that eats at your peace.

So what's a person to do? Don't look out too much. Don't sit too long, don't stand too long, don't lie down too much, and don't walk a lot (our next and final taxation)--unless you can levitate, there's only one answer left someone seeking the wisdom of a millenia-old system of medicine. Do a little bit of all of them. Sit sometimes, stand a little, lie down to rest, and walk enough for exercise, but not to exhaustion. Our bodies are made for lots of different activities. In our computer age, we have made sitting and exercise-for-exercise's sake our primary movements. How about we try other things? Walk with a friend, or walk or bike to get from Point A to Point B. Stretch to rock climb, or reach something from a high shelf, or to dance to music. Lay down on the grass and look at the clouds. Or let your eyes rest, and listen to the birds and the breeze and the sound of children laughing. Stand to greet others, or to give your seat to someone who is tired and needs the rest. If you want other ideas, this article might be helpful.

Chinese medicine is about balance. Instead of latching on to one activity, how about filling your life with the variety of all activities that bring you health?

Articles used in writing this post:
http://www.hazards.org/standing/
http://www.ericcressey.com/6-tips-for-people-who-stand-all-day
http://healthland.time.com/2011/04/13/the-dangers-of-sitting-at-work%E2%80%94and-standing/

Autumn: Grieving, Sorting, Letting Go

Autumn is my favorite season. I love the color in the leaves, the chill in the air, and the natural instinct to burrow in and nest. But I always find myself going broody and a little melancholy just as the summer heat gets that tiny tinge of coolness. For years, I chalked it up to the memories of school starting, year after year, in my childhood--the end of the freedom of summer, and for me the anxiety and discomfort of being an introvert thrown into a more social climate. 

While those memories may be a part of my "autumn blues," I now know there is a much more powerful reason I have these feelings, and why so many share them. In Chinese medicine, each season is associated with an element, which also relates to different parts of physical and emotional health. Autumn deals with the Metal Element, which is represented in the body by the Lung and Large Intestine systems. These systems deal with your immune system and breathing. But they also have an emotional component. They deal with the process of grief, of knowing what to keep and let go, and have a place in affecting how we organize our lives and set our boundaries.

Just as the leaves shed their leaves and begin to hunker down for the winter, drawing their nutrients inward, so we humans feel an urge to turn inward as the weather cools. Autumn is commonly a time for introspection and review. We look over our year, our relationships, and our homes, deciding what works well, and what does not, and letting go of those things that no longer serve us. We pack away our summer clothes, pull out the comforting shield of our sweaters and blankets, and review our yearly plans. And many of us, for reasons we cannot quite understand, feel the need to pull out old hurts, old problems, or old memories, figuratively running our fingers over our life scars.

This behavior is perfectly natural, and can be beneficial. When we suffer a loss--whether it's a loved one, an injury, a financial setback, or just a vision of ourselves we fail to live up to--we need time to process the change in our circumstances. We grieve a death, or a breakup, or a new reality after illness, and move one. But as a year or two or ten goes by, sometimes we find there are still issues to process. We reach the age of a parent when they died, we find a new romance, or find our health deteriorates further--or, sometimes more frighteningly, improves, bringing new opportunities but also new responsibility. We have grown and changed, and now we need to revisit that old hurt. Is there something new to learn from our old experience? Is there some new way to let go of a limiting belief or behavior? If we do not revisit our story, we may never know.

Of course, everyone has a friend who is stuck in time. They pick a moment of their life, either for its joy or pain, and refuse to leave it. They dress too young, or continue to make teenage choices into adulthood, because growing up threatens the safety they feel in their perceived youth. Or they keep a room or wall or life revolving around a loved one who has left, or died, unable to accept a new opportunity because they cannot let go of the past. For these people, the natural need to grieve and release has gotten bogged down. Sometimes they obsess on the grieving process; other times they avoid it, distracting themselves with work or vacations or play. If they let their mind go blank they risk the pain of memories welling up, so they choose distraction after distraction to avoid discomfort. For either approach, getting help to grieve properly is important. A mature friend or counselor can help stuck grievers go through the process of sorting memories or circumstances and deciding how life has changed around them, and also how to make changes so they can move on to the next stage of life.

Autumn is still my favorite season, even tinged with grief as it can sometimes be. The other side of grief is nostalgia--a happy memory of earlier times that can be a firm foundation from which to launch an amazing life.

Part Four of the Five Taxations: Sitting Needs Moderation

Just  because I'm happy doesn't mean I should be sitting

Not long ago, I started a series on The Five Taxations--five activities that wear out your system when done in excess. Here is our progress so far:

• Excessive use of the eyes, which damages blood.
• Excessive lying down, which damages qi;

Our next Taxation is "excessive sitting, which injures flesh." 

Sitting has become the new no-no in our culture. Type "dangers of sitting" in a search engine, and watch the articles pop up. Sitting for long periods is linked with increased likelihood of disability, heart disease, poor posture, and muscle pain and weakness, and, if you are exercising by sitting on a bicycle, sitting is linked to impotence. Chinese medicine doesn't think much of over-sitting, either.

In Chinese medicine, "flesh" is considered to be the stuff that covers your bones that is meaty. While some in Chinese medicine equate flesh and muscle, others see them as separate. Either way, flesh is primarily governed by the Earth element, which consists of the Spleen and Stomach and the body functions they manage--the breaking down of food, the sense of self and ability to think, remember, and focus appropriately, management of "dampness," affecting everything from achy pains to edema or bloat, and the creation of energy and phlegm. An injury to the flesh will also compromise these functions by stressing the Earth energy. Sitting injures the flesh by impeding the free flow of blood and qi, both by the pressure of sitting on the meridians and by the lack of movement caused by being still.

The obvious way to avoid excessive sitting is by moving around. Get up from your desk at least every couple of hours (every half hour is better) and walk--to the restroom, breakroom, around the parking lot, to deliver an item to a co-worker--whatever you can do. Standing and treadmill desks  are all the rage now, making it possible to work at a computer without sitting at all.  

We Chinese medicine practitioners would add the caveat that anything done in less than moderation will have a down side. In fact, the final two taxations are excessive standing and excessive walking. So perhaps in addition to giving yourself the option to work at a computer while standing, consider taking time away from the computer completely. And time away from work. And time away from walking. Take some of your sitting outside, where you can connect to the ground and watch the birds, or clouds, or tiny little ants doing their thing. And then go for walk in fresh air.

Coming soon! Our next taxation: "Excessive standing, which injures bones"

Articles mentioned in this blog: 

Dangers of ... sitting? Regardless of exercise, too much sedentary time is linked to major disability after 60

Why Your Desk Job is Slowly Killing You

Serious Riders, Your Bicycle May Affect Your Love Life

Treaddesk.com

Be Who You Are: Moving Past Trauma

Photo Credit: Teresa Y Green

Like many people, I've had traumas in my life. The specific type of trauma is not important for this post, and I lived through them, worked through the pain, and came out the other side a strong woman. But it left scars, and one of the scars was not knowing who I was--knowing my personality instead of my shields.

I sometimes think I'm a walking feeling. It's not that I cannot think logically, I just feel first, then think about it. I have fought this part of my personality for most of my life. Feeling is dangerous in a traumatic situation. It leaves you vulnerable to pain, both yours and that of the people around you. Feelings make it hard to rationally analyze a physically or emotionally dangerous situation and get yourself to safety. Feelings make you react, when you need to be in charge of your actions.

But feelings also inform all the good things in life. The joy of love, of friendship, or something beautiful--you cannot analyze the way it feels to have a loved one take your hand and get the most out of it. At least I cannot. Even hard feelings, like anger and sadness, have a good place. Anger fuels action, and directed properly, it leads to appropriate self-defense. Sadness allows you to sift through events and relationships, and know what to keep and what to release.

The degree to which I neglected my feeling side in my youth came to me recently when I read a poem. When I was younger, I had a hard time with poetry, especially the best poetry, which layers visceral images to create a feeling. I loved complete sentences. I liked Emerson over Whitman. I disliked songs with lyrics that didn't make a coherent story. When I got married, my husband introduced me to poetry with feeling--disjointed phrases that teased my subconscious, that spoke in whirling scenes instead of paragraphs, that I felt in my body instead of dissecting in my mind. 

It took a few years, but gradually I integrated the two. Embracing my feeling side along with my thinking side has made me a more whole person. I do not have to second-guess my reactions as often, because I am not approaching life while hiding half of myself. 

Part of acknowledging your whole self is learning to be honest. When you live through trauma, especially as a child, or for a long time, you learn to hide the scary parts of life from yourself and others. You learn to be ashamed of your circumstances. So you lie--if not in word, then in deed. You pretend things that bother you really don't; you let people believe you are in control of life when you aren't, and you deny vulnerability at every turn.

The energy you spend lying keeps you from seeing the truth. Most things that bother or irritate you are not the big deals you make them in your mind--and the ones that are completely unacceptable are usually easy to solve once you get past the initial terror of upsetting someone. When you spend a lifetime pretending to be in control, you never see that no one is completely in control of life--by its nature, life is uncontrollable. We all learn on the job, so to speak--some people are just able to walk an unknown path with confidence, others have to learn confidence by tiptoeing into new things. And it is only in our vulnerability that we really grow and live. Acknowledging you have something to lose makes life precious--pretending you are impervious to harm locks you away from everything that gives life wonder and awe and fun.

In Chinese medicine, we talk about "pathogens" that sometimes get caught inside of the body and can't escape. Illnesses like malaria, strep throat, and shingles are sometimes described as "an evil" that gets into your body, and then your body clamps down to protect itself, and the evil cannot get out. So you may recover, but the symptoms recur, over and over. You may never fully expel the pathogen, but you can learn to build your system, deal with physical and emotional things that stress you, and get appropriate help from the outside in the forms of herbs and acupuncture, you can greatly improve. The same is true for recovery from trauma. Few people completely lose every effect of a traumatic event. But if you reach out to professionals and others who have walked the same path, learn to use proper self-care, and address the things weighing you down in life, you can get better. 

Four Ways to Make the Workday Smoother

Image Credit: Free Images.com

I absolutely love my work. I get to help people for a living, and work in an office full of upbeat, creative people who care about our patients and clients. But sometimes, I get a little burnt out. I feel the weight of others' suffering, or get discouraged because I don't meet some of my goals or my plans seem a long way from completion. The patient with the easy-to-treat problem does not improve, or the printer refuses to work when I absolutely need to print out a form.

In the natural health world, we often focus on the "soft skills" or actions that build health. Rather than recommend a dramatic treatment, we advise the people who come to see us to adopt simple strategies to give their minds and bodies room to grow health. I have adapted those strategies to my workday. Here are some tips that help me get back on track when discouragement sets in:

1. Start with the right thoughts. Every morning, I read. A lot. I read sections from the Bible, articles on relationship and books on living your purpose and goals. Poetry, scripture, affirmations, inspirational books can also put you in a good frame of mind to start your day.
2. Exercise. I am not a great athlete. For a long time, my health left me exhausted after even moderate exercise, and I'm only just now challenging the idea that I cannot do vigorous activities. But I know the importance of movement, both for physical health, and for emotional well-being. So I do lots of little exercise as often as I can. I wander around the neighborhood where I work and a local botanical garden. I stretch, or spend five minute intervals doing small muscle-building exercises. Not as much as I need to, yet, but I'm improving. And guess what I've noticed? The days I do more little intervals of exercise, the happier and more productive I am. 
3. Meditate. Taking a moment or two to calm your mind will minimize anxiety, improve brain function and help you make more thoughtful decisions, improve your endocrine function, and help your heart health. Even if you only meditate for a minute every couple of hours, you will find yourself more calm and able to handle challenges more easily. This website has great one-minute meditations.
4. Show gratitude. Thank the people around you for the wonderful things they do. Keep a gratitude journal. Look for things to enjoy and that make you thankful. Gratitude has tons of health benefits, and also encourages positive action. So jot down things that you appreciate. And tell those around you that you appreciate them--share the good feeling!

These four points are not rocket science, but they will keep you in a better mood. Burnout is hard to deal with and miserable to experience, so taking simple steps to prevent hating your daily routine makes sense. Please share your tips below.

Action Heroes Have Incidents

Photo Credit: Bizior

I saw the latest Captain America movie while family was visiting last week. Poor Cap. Without giving away the plot, let's just say all his fancy serums, shield, and let's face it, pretty amazing looks, did not keep him from falling on his face here and there as he saved the world. He used all his talents, but still managed to wreck half the cars in Washington, DC, suffer emotional losses, and have problems he might have avoided if he had made better decisions earlier in the movie.

Thinking about the movie brought a surprising realization. When I do things like Captain America, I usually feel like a failure.  If my plans don't follow an orderly sequence, if each step does not end in an uncomplicated success, I see it as "bumbling," even if I get the final result I wanted.

Do you do the same thing? Do you assume your action-adventures are less-than-perfect if you have incidents? Even if no buildings were destroyed, or killer robots unleashed, or evil geniuses allowed to escape, do you consider a project a failure if it has a setback? Think about the super heroes and action heroes. They get parades and medals and accolades for their successes, even if by the time the movie is over, most of a planet is destroyed. Maybe reaching your goal, or learning good lessons from not reaching it, is worth a pat on the back--especially if you didn't have to change the space-time continuum to get to where you are now.

Pain Breaks Us

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I hate pain. I treat people in pain in my practice. And usually I can help them. But I hate the pain. Pain--whether it's physical or emotional--breaks us. At a low level, we can tolerate it, although it wears us down. But when the level is high--when your nervous system overrides everything with distress signals, when everything hurts, or when your mind cannot escape the loss or betrayal that seeps into every moment of every day--something snaps. We become frightened animals, fleeing something so horrible we cannot grasp it. So we run. To doctors, to medication, to alcohol or drugs, to shallow relationships that offer some kind of temporary oblivion but are unwise and hurt us in the end. When we're too tired to run, we fight, or withdraw--or begin looking longingly at ways to end our time on earth.

Pain rips into our every vulnerability. And, horribly, we often have the fewest resources available to us when the pain is at its worst. Even the kindest doctor or practitioner can only do so much, and in the age of prescription medication abuse, a person in pain often has to overcome a wall of suspicion before getting help for their discomfort. Those of us in the healing arts alternate between keeping a sometimes nearly inhuman distance from our clients and patients and allowing their pain to envelope us and suck us into despair. I sometimes have to hide in the bathroom and cry when someone comes to me in their most broken state.

How can you cope when your pain is at its worst? I don't have a pretty pat answer. In my own life, I long ago gave up on suicide as a way to end my own pain. And thankfully, I have very little pain now. But when it was at its worst, all I could do was endure. I turned to my faith, friends, and family--but there were dark times when none of them seemed to help. So I trudged on. I rested as much as I could, and then just kept putting one foot in front of the other, one minute after the next, and finally outlasted the pain. I won. 

For those who may never fully escape their pain due to injury, illness, or the nature of the emotional trauma they have suffered, I say be kind to yourself. Give yourself understanding. And I ask the rest of us to reach out. Not with trite phrases and over-optimistic attempts at cures. But with a soft hand and a soft word, like we would a terrified puppy or child. I ask that we all remember that pain makes it hard to think and hard to be nice, and perhaps if we can endure the sharp edges of another's pain, perhaps we can blunt their suffering just a bit.

Is Illness Your Only Time Off?

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Years ago, I saw a patient wanting help dealing with migraine headaches. He had these headaches almost daily, sometimes so severe he could not function and had to stay home, highly sedated and in bed, until they finally went away. We worked for several weeks, with slow, gradual improvement to his symptoms. One day, he came in with a strange look on his face. "For the first time in decades, I've been days without pain." He canceled his next few treatments, and never came back to my office.

I wish I could say acupuncture cured his migraines, but I don't think so. I think he has headaches as bad as he ever did, and when push came to shove, decided he needed his headaches. He had a co-worker who was constantly causing problems, and my patient ended up dealing with the consequences of his co-worker's mistakes. Because of his relationship with this co-worker, he hated his job and hated going there each day. His work environment was demanding, and taking time off was discouraged. Everyone in the office knew about his severe migraines, and when he had a headache he could go into a quiet office and work uninterrupted. If the headache was really bad, his boss would suggest he go home, and compliment him on all his hard work. My patient even told me several times during our sessions that he felt "the migraines aren't all bad--they're my only break from my toxic work environment."

So I was not terribly surprised when my patient suddenly stopped his treatments. As much as he hated the pain and limits his migraines put on him, he hated the environment at work more. He's not alone. I often see people who come in for various health problems, who have one thing in common: for whatever reason, they do not believe they can create boundaries around their life, so their bodies create boundaries for them. Headaches, digestive problems, recurring head colds, anxiety attacks--for some patients, these are the bane of their existence and also their only way to feel safe taking some much-needed rest.

I've been in their shoes. For many years, my only time really off from my demands was when I caught a virus. I may have had days that I didn't work, but I had social obligations I did not like, or that were more challenging than my limited resources could handle. I wanted to feel "productive" and "reliable," so I kept making commitments I did not want to make, and doing things I felt I "should" do, even if I was exhausted. If I was honest with myself, I would have realized a day on the sofa reading a favorite book was much more rejuvenating to me than going out with friends to see a movie. But I wanted to think I was "having fun." 

So I got several colds a year, forcing me to take time off from work. Since I was sick, I spent the days sleeping and--you guessed it--laying on the sofa reading a book. After more years than I would like to admit, I started scheduling down time. I have a lot fewer colds now. But I still sometimes feel guilty about making time for my decompression.

How about you? Do you go and go until something forces you down? One of the areas I try to focus when talking to patients is extreme self-care (thank you, Cheryl Richardson, for introducing me to the term). You are the most reliable asset you have, since you are the only one you can completely control. And if you are not functioning well, nothing else in your life will, either. Do you care for yourself at least as well as you care for your pets--or your car? Do you give yourself play time, good food, and maintain yourself with regular fuel, and time to repair when you are sick or injured? If you don't because you have children, is your example of constant self-sacrifice and suffering what you want your children to follow? If you are giving because you must, even though it hurts and damages you, are you showing your family the outpouring of love that you imagine? How much better a gift is it to let your family learn to manage some chores or problems, and have time to go on a picnic or take a walk together?

I am still learning the wonders of self-care. Doing nice things for yourself is harder than it seems. I've learned that it is better for me to care for myself by not eating wheat and sugar than it is to give myself a tasty treat that leaves me feeling jittery and tired for the next three days. That sometimes I need to stay up late and sing along with Pandora, and sometimes I need to go to bed early and feel my husband's arm around me as I sleep. That I can enjoy real time off better if I schedule time to clear my desk of extraneous paperwork instead of leaving early. Self-care is not simple decadence, even though I think a too-rich-to-believe chocolate truffle on occasion is a great way to be nice to me. It is taking care of your vehicle to be who you are--mind, body, and spirit. I hope you are on a path to take good care of yourself, and not force your body and mind to make you ill so you will take some time looking out for you.

*Details of the patient histories have been changed to protect privacy.

Chinese Medicine and Your Emotions

Photo by Teresa Y Green

Emotional or mental problems affect many people.  Even mild symptoms can lower your enjoyment of life, and severe symptoms can be debilitating. 

Acupuncture together with other components of Chinese Medicine can help.

Diagnosis and Treatment: Different From "Western" Medicine

Many patients are surprised to find that Chinese medicine’s diagnostic process is very different from what they find at their doctor’s office.  Two people with the same “western” diagnosis, such as clinical depression, may have completely different Chinese medicine diagnoses.

To make the right diagnosis for you, your acupuncturist will ask questions during the interview that may seem to have nothing to do with your emotions.  Questions about digestion, your reaction to stress, and your sleep give information that will help her to give you the correct treatment.

While many people think of acupuncture for treatment, a complete treatment usually uses acupuncture, herbal, and dietary treatments.   Using all of the resources of Chinese medicine brings quicker and longer lasting results.

Some Possible Diagnoses

There are many different diagnoses related to emotions.  Here are a few different diagnoses, with the primary symptoms associated with each:

• Qi Stagnation:  Crying or depression, especially with restlessness,  becoming easily frustrated, irritability, wandering pain, alternating diarrhea and constipation, irregular menses, and any symptom that is worse with stress.
• Blood stagnation:  Severe emotional distress, usually rage, accompanied by severe, stabbing pain in a fixed location.  Also menstrual problems, purple color on the nails or tongue, and symptoms that improve with exercise.
• Phlegm misting the mind:  Irrational thoughts, extreme paranoia, hallucination, can be accompanied by either mania and rage or terror, or apathy and withdrawal.
• Liver Yang Rising/Liver Fire: Anger or rage accompanied with red face, irritability, dizziness, and headache, worse with stress.
• Dampness / Phlegm Stagnation: Depression marked by apathy; difficulty concentrating; foggy, unclear, or irrational thinking; dizziness; feeling achy and sore, often with tender points; a heavy feeling in the limbs; fatigue; chest congestion or diarrhea.
• Heart Fire: Rage, red face, red tongue, insomnia, restlessness, mania.
• Qi deficiency: Depression or anxiety worse when tired, lack of interest in life, soft voice, gas and bloating, low energy.
• Blood Deficiency: Apathy, anxiety, paranoia, insomnia, dream-disturbed sleep, difficulty thinking or concentrating, poor vision, low energy, dizziness,  dull pain, worse when fatigued, muscle spasms, numbness and tingling, pale skin, dry skin, nails, or hair;, scanty menses or missing periods.
• Heart or Gallbladder deficiency:  Difficulty making decisions, apathy, anxiety, insomnia, shortness of breath.
• Yin Deficiency:  Irritability or anxiety, worse in the afternoon and evening, accompanied by night sweats, hot flashes, any symptom worse in the afternoon or evening.
• Yang Deficiency: Extremely low energy, listlessness, apathy; difficulty staying warm; edema, frequent urination and diarrhea; dull pain improved by warmth, especially in the back, knee, or foot, worse when tired; urinary or sexual dysfunction.

Quick Tips to Balance Emotions

Here are some ideas to improve your emotional equilibrium today: 

• Make a moderate exercise program and stick with it.  Consider tai chi, qi gong, yoga, or other gentle qi exercises with fluid movements or gentle stretching.
• Work on experiencing your emotions as they occur.  Set aside time each day to review your feelings and write about them, share them with a friend, or take action to make your life better.
• Keep a food diary, and note if you experience emotional episodes after eating certain foods.  Some people find specific foods that trigger depression, anxiety, or apathy.
• Take steps to lower your stress level.  Any health problem worsens with high stress levels.

Of course, if you are experiencing symptoms that severely interfere with your day-to-day life, please seek professional psychiatric help.  Once your condition is stabilized, you can discuss adding Chinese medicine to your treatment strategy with your doctor or therapist.

What to Do Instead of Taking Antibiotics

Antibiotics are amazing drugs. They destroy bacteria that can kill humans and animals. The introduction of antibiotics into medicine turned once life-threatening problems like infected wounds and bacteria-based diseases into minor issues for most otherwise healthy people. But today, overuse threatens to diminish their effectiveness. Bacteria develop resistance to the currently available antibiotics, and like all medications, antibiotics have side effects. 

Antibiotics' effectiveness depends on destroying bacteria. But all bacteria are not harmful; many are crucial to our ability to digest food and carry out basic life functions. They are especially important in the workings of our immune system. In the article The Fat Drug, Pagan Kennedy describes our bodies as 

"the condo that your bugs [bacteria] helped to build and design. The bugs redecorate you every day. They turn the thermostat up and down, and bang on your pipes." 

Our unique balance of bacteria help us in all our bodily functions, and antibiotics can change how well our healthy bacteria work.

So the question becomes, how can we avoid unnecessary use of antibiotics? Fortunately, Chinese medicine has lots of advice to offer.

• Prevention. The best way to avoid antibiotics is to not need them in the first place. Use basic health strategies like getting adequate sleep, eating a healthy diet, and making time for moderate exercise to strengthen your immune system, which will improve your ability to fight off bacterial illness. Managing stress with time management, and meditation, and an optimistic outlook will also help. A less obvious tip is wearing a scarf in cold weather, since the area around the neck and shoulders is considered especially vulnerable to invasion. Also, taking probiotics, which give your body the "good" bacteria it needs to have a health immune system, give your body a way to fight infection from the inside.
• Avoiding exposure. Doing your best to avoid exposure to dangerous bacteria will also minimize your chances of needing antibiotics. Wear gloves if you will be working somewhere where you could cut yourself, or come in contact with bacteria. Skip the trip to the drug store during cold and flu season, when all the contagious sick people are there. Wash your hands frequently--with soap and water, not anti-bacterial soap, which is another overuse of antibiotics and may have its own health risks.
• Infection 911--food edition. If you actually get a cold (which would not be helped by antibiotics anyway) or infection, there are some things you can do. Rest as much as you can. If you feel more hot than cold, have plenty of cooling foods (cooked and room temperature or warmer) such as mint tea, lightly steamed cucumbers, parsley, dill, or dandelion greens. If you feel more cold than hot, eat plenty of cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg to warm your system. 
• Infection 911--herbal edition. Echinacea can help if used at the first sign of a cold. Formulas such as Yin Qiao Wan, Bai Hu Tang, and Ren Shen Bai Du Wan can all help with infections and other illnesses, but each have their own specific uses. Be sure to check in with a trained herbalist for information to be sure you get the best thing for your illness. Acupuncture can improve your immune system function, both as a quick boost and over time.

Antibiotics are a wonderful part of the medical arsenal. Saving them for true emergencies will leave you healthier, and keep them available for everyone.

I have extensive training in acupuncture and the use of herbs. However, the statements made on this website have not been evaluated by the FDA (U.S. Food & Drug Administration). They are not intended to diagnose, cure or prevent any disease. The information provided by this website or this company is not a substitute for a face-to-face consultation with a health care provider, and should not be construed as individual medical advice. Any testimonials on this website are from individuals and do not guarantee or imply the same results.

Get Up And Boogie! Part 3 of The 5 Taxations: Excessive Lying Down

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Not long ago, I started a series on The Five Taxations--five activities that wear out your system when done in excess. Here they are again:

• Excessive use of the eyes, which damages blood.
• Excessive lying down, which damages qi;
• Excessive sitting, which injures flesh;
• Excessive standing, which injures bones;
• Excessive walking, which injures sinews.

Today's post is on excessive lying down. I rarely complain about people lying down, because I strongly advocate napping and think most people get too little sleep. But I know people who lie down even when they're not sleeping--to watch TV, read, or just hang out. 

Chinese medicine is a system that emphasizes balance. Our bodies are made for some movement, some rest, some intake of food, some spending of our energy.There are actually dangers to oversleeping, especially since a need to oversleep means you are not getting good quality sleep when you are awake. If you spend all your time lying down, you are not moving. The right level of movement contributes to creating qi in the body, acting like a generator. No movement, and your qi is diminished. You instead build stagnation--the qi you have and your blood become stuck more easily, leading to pain, digestive problems, and emotional distress. Our body fluids move better when we have regular movement--especially lymph fluid, which plays a part in circulation and immune system health.

If you are not prone to movement (pun entirely intended), whether from medical necessity or disinclination to exercise, preventing this taxation is still possible. Move whatever you have to move--feet, arms, head, neck--eyes, even just your rate of breathing if everything else is paralyzed. Don't move too fast, or for too long at first--qi needs a chance to well up like a spring. Overdoing it early on will exhaust you and make it harder to continue. 

Enjoy moving--dance, stretch like a cat. Move slowly and really feel your muscles changing shape. Move quickly and enjoy the slight thrill of an increased heart beat. Move until you are slightly tired, and enjoy better sleep.

You will see some level of improvement--your breathing will be smoother, and if you do not have permanent injuries, you will be able to move farther and easier over time.

Enjoy your body's ability to move. Don't allow your body to stagnate from a lack of movement!

Three Tips to Living with Low Energy or Chronic Pain

 

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I have a secret. I am not an energetic person. Never have been--even as a kid, I got tired before everyone else. I was the one who was relieved when parents came to break up sleepover shenanigans so I could get some much-needed sleep. I was in a car accident years ago, and the residual pain taps my energy further while adding its own problems.

My practice focuses on the chronically ill, so I see a lot of people like me. Many of them have trouble mentally dealing with their health issues.  They feel like they're missing out on life, or that all they can do is get the daily requirements done, then drag off for as much sleep as possible before doing it all again. They are constantly tired, and usually depressed.

I get frustrated at my energy levels, but all-in-all I handle them pretty well. I look at my life, and it is full--I go out with friends, I have a career that uses my talents, and a husband and cat who love me. I get a fair amount done most days, and stay better rested than I have been at any earlier point in my life. How do I do it? I'm glad you ask!

• I accepted there were limitations. This idea is anathema to many. They want to fight with everything they have to get one more thing done, add one more activity, one more commitment, one more accomplishment. For those whose personality fits this lifestyle, it is great--the constant challenge energizes them, so fighting their limitations is a great coping strategy. Most of the people I see day-to-day don't have this personality--they just wish they did. I stopped wishing for it a long time ago, and made a few policies: I rarely commit to extra responsibilities because I know I can't be reliable at them.  If I get so little sleep that I cry when it's time to get up, I cancel my day. I avoid places, other than my office, where sick people are likely to congregate--no trips to the drugstore during flu season, and no unnecessary gatherings with a gaggle of small children. Being sick takes a lot out of me, and since setting up this policy I have a lot less illness than I used to.
• I eat well. As much as I used to like soft drinks and french fries, I almost never eat them now. I don't digest either of them well, and the "hangover" of eating any kind of junk food gets in the way of the things I want to do. My husband and I invest a lot of our income on healthy food that tastes great. We both enjoy food, and both know how important it is to give our bodies good things. It was a lesson we have only really committed to in the past five years or so, but now that we have we get reap great dividends--a clear mind, better moods, and a gradual improvement in health all-around. My pain levels are usually very low, and my energy improves the better I eat.
• I try to have only positive things in my life. Lest you think I live my life focused on what I can't do and cannot eat, let me tell you my philosophy: I am a valuable commodity, I have a lot to give, and like any precious thing or entity, I must receive excellent care to be at my best. So I put as many good things into my life as I can. The lesson of positivity is relatively new for me--I used to feel that saying my life was going well was a form of bragging. Now I see it as a way to improve the world around me by not adding to the complaints that burden society. I try to look at my life with a positive perspective ("change your story, change your life"). I seek out positive people to read and emulate, like Michael Hyatt, Marc and Angel Chernoff, Chris Guillebeau, and others. Putting upbeat, can-do, honest words into my mind each day helps fight discouragement and gives me the raw materials to create my own positive creations. Taking care of my mind also gives me a safe place to deal with hard things. When I'm tired, cultivating a positive outlook means I don't bow to discouragement as often, and dark days when I see only the negative are easier to turn around.

These are just three tips for dealing with fatigue and stress. They are simple, but not always easy. Do you have any tips you use for dealing with the issues in your life?